Do you ever just want to feel productive at the end of the day but it’s just not happening? Do you always seem to feel that you didn’t get the important things done and you still have a list that has a bunch of to-dos you didn’t get around to? Again? Just like yesterday maybe? Do you feel like time has been going by fast but the amount of work you’ve finished hasn’t increased much?

That’s me. I do get some stuff done but I just have a feeling that I can do a lot more important things and do them more efficiently.  

I have such hellish days. I wake up as early as I possibly can to start the day right and not waste the day. When I sleep in (wake up after 8am), I feel like I’ve screwed up my day already. 

I have two little ones at home, 6 and 4 1/2, and chaos starts the moment they get out of bed. My day is pretty much a wash when they’re home from school. It’s hard to do any creative work of any kind if I’m in the same room as them. I sometimes hide out in my study while my 23-year old daughter watches over them but I’m laden with guilt. I feel like I should be with them full time when they’re home from school, even if just to make sure they’re not just watching TV all afternoon or playing useless games on their tablets. 

Being at home with two little ones and managing chores around the house such as cooking, cleaning, and clearing clutter really does not give me ample time to sit down and be creative.

It’s so hard to find focus and jump right into doing “me” work. I’ve signed up for online classes and taken up new skills/hobbies that I really want to get into but don’t seem to have the time. And I’ve always hated that lame excuse of “I don’t have the time.” It’s not true. And it’s lame. I always rephrase it so say, “I don’t want to make the time” or it simply boils down to “I don’t want to fucking do it.” Which then calls for deeper questions: “Why do I not want to do it? What am I afraid of? What’s holding me back? What’s the huge mental block standing  in the way of my moving forward?”

The amount of time I have for myself, guilt-free, is when they’re both at school – from 8am to 12 noon which is really just 3-3.5 hrs of time when you take away driving time, to and from school, and preparing lunch, hopefully ready before 12:30. 

Another opportune time to do work is before they wake up. This time works really great for me, especially when I’m able to get up before 5am. The only part that sucks is getting into the flow of things then I need to snap out of it, switch gears, and get the kids ready for school. It’s especially frustrating when one (or both) of them decide to have a moment of disapproval about something (i.e. tantrum). 

I don’t like doing any work in the evenings after dinner because I just usually end up reading some crap online like the news and social media, and never getting in the flow of any creativity. It becomes such a waste of my time and messes up the following morning because I end up waking up later. I wake up frustrated and mad at myself – not a great way to start the day.

I figured I need to plan my optimum hours better. I need to carefully plan and block my time, and commit to a schedule. I need to improve how I do things. I need to set up systems and automate workflows. I want to learn how to focus better and enter the state of flow faster.

Enter deliberate practice. This term was first coined by Anders Ericsson, a professor in psychology who pioneered research on deliberate practice. He led a team that published an article, The Role of Deliberate Practice in the Acquisition of Expert Performance, in the Psychology Review in 1993.

The article was actually a study on performance in classical instrumental music but has been cited over 10,000 times, 25 years later. It has been interpreted to increase better performance in other activities such sports, business, personal productivity, even memorization.The term “deliberate practice” has evolved into different meanings from Ericsson’s initial definition of “individualized solitary practice in classical music as directed by a qualified teacher.” The goal of improving performance is the one characteristic of deliberate practice that’s agreed upon across the board. 

James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, has an article, “Beginner’s Guide to Deliberate Practice,” on his blog. He says that deliberate practice refers to a special type of practice that is purposeful and systematic, as opposed to doing mindless repetitions. It involves your full attention with a clear goal of improved performance in mind. 

Clear says the greatest challenge is remaining focused. In the beginning, it is essential to show up and put in the work. After a while, our brain converts these repeated actions into habits. The author cites the example of when we first learned how to tie shoes. We had to think carefully about each step during the process. Once we get good at it, we don’t even think about it anymore. It becomes automatic. 

But when something becomes automatic, the less we put our minds to it. And mindless activity is the enemy of deliberate practice. Just because we repeat an act over and over doesn’t mean we’re getting better at it. We’re just accumulating experience, Ericsson says. 

Improvement in performance requires a clear goal, focused attention, a lot of dedication, and a method for measuring your activity. It also takes a bit of courage to leave your comfort zone. 

1. First, identify something specific that you can actually improve; something you want to do better. 

Invest some time into clarifying your goal. Work on possible issues or obstacles that could come up while doing the activity. Ask yourself what has usually stood in your way before and plan your actions to curtail those obstacles. Make corrections along the way. Identify your weaknesses. 

2. Focus on the training and improving that particular aspect. 

Integrate the small improvements into your regular performance. Test new strategies. Be consistent. Practice the skill on a daily basis with a conscious intent in mind. Push through tough areas. 

3. Record and measure feedback every step of the way. 

Feedback is necessary to see where you’re improving and where you need to do better. You need a realistic view of your progress and see where your trouble-spots lie. From here you can figure out how to make adjustments to perform the skill better (loop back to number 2). 

4. Take the time to recover.

All this sustained effort and focus takes a toll on your body and mind and, like exercise, you need to rest and recuperate. Offset the intensity of your deliberate practice with leisure activity or any form of relaxation you prefer. 

My goal was to be better at time-blocking my days and sticking to the schedule. I found the only appointments I kept were meetings that were dictated by others and the personal activities I put on my calendar were almost always put off for another day or time, or not done at all. This has been a frustrating inside battle for me. I wanted to have a productive day and feel that I accomplished the important tasks that I planned out to do. 

The skill I chose to perfect and apply deliberate practice was planning and organizing my days. I wanted to wake up knowing what I was going to get done and when. I tried planning my days before but would easily get discouraged when I failed to keep all my overly optimistics plans for the day. 

Another mistake I discovered was packing my schedule too tightly, not putting any lag or prep time in between activities. I found that I didn’t thrive in a strict and too-busy schedule. I preferred just one or two big lifts during the day and the rest of the time for easy work while being around my kids. When I tried to work too much on my creative and personal projects, it took time away from my family and only left me feeling guilty and, again, angry at myself. The frustration was debilitating!

To get more me-time in my day, I woke up a few hours earlier than everyone else to get some writing and work done. By the time the kids woke up I already felt productive. I was on a roll! I worked on tracking my time and activities. I also took notes on how much I got done, compared to my set goals for the day. I did a daily review and daily planning at the end of each day to review my development and plan how and what to do better the following day. 

It helped to narrow down my current projects to just 2 or 3 at a time. I also had to set even lower standards to the state cleanliness and organization of our home. Some things just had to give. I did not want to spend less time with the kids but I wanted to get more of my personal projects done. 

This is all still a work in progress for me as I hone my skills in planning and execution. There are still days I feel like I could’ve done a lot better but at least I know what horse to get back on after I’ve fallen off.