My four-year-old son, the youngest, asked my husband and me earlier during dinner, “What would you do if I was not here, like if I was not born?”

My immediate response was, “Oh, it would be so sad and lonely!” Because he’s such a sweet guy, and he’s great buddies with his sister, who’s only 20 months older than him. It’s so wonderful that we had him after my youngest daughter. They have so much fun giggling, playing, doing sneaky things together. There’s some fighting and getting on each others’ nerves as well, but they get on pretty well, most of the time.

Then my six-year-old daughter asked the same thing, “What if I wasn’t here?”

“Oh, well then it would be great times for us!” Laughing, I looked over at my husband, and he smiled, agreeing with me.

“That means you don’t like us!” she cried out. “Hahaha! Yes, we do!” I assured her. “But if you guys weren’t around, we could do whatever we want. And we could go anywhere, any time!”

Which we did. Ages ago. And it was pretty damn great.

My husband and I used to go on road trips, even making it all the way to Colorado from San Francisco in his 4×4 pickup one summer. It was fun to go off-roading and sleep in the truck. Sometimes it got sketchy, but that’s how it gets in the middle of nowhere. We also went camping and fit in a single tent. We had random frolicking at night in the suburbs — him on his skateboard, me on my scooter.

We both miss going to our old favorite dinner spots. Our daughter was a fussy baby, especially in the car, and it was tortuous to take her anywhere. I even miss relaxing and hanging out after dinner, just the two of us, at home!

But I still prefer our life now. There’s a lot more chaos, and there’s not enough time to do anything, but our lives are full in a good way. I am overwhelmed and overjoyed.