There are days when I just want to laze about, when I just want to do nothing, or just sit in front of the TV and pick a good show to watch. I haven’t had a day like that in months because I’ve been working on feeling productive at the end of the day and not regretting my days lost to fruitless activities. 

I do take naps, but I do it on the couch upstairs around the kids. If I napped on my bed, I’m afraid I’d be there for hours and then lose a big chunk of my day. And I never feel energized after a nap. I feel good and solid after a nap, but my brain is mellow. It could also be that time of the day when my brain is in slow mode. 

In the morning, that’s when my brain is fired up. I wake up early on purpose to take advantage of this dynamic space in time. It’s so good. I wish it would last all day and I didn’t have to leave my cozy study. 

It’s so freakish that I ended up here. This is where I had always imagined where I wanted to be, writing by a window, looking out over a dense green forest. And here I am, right now in my own home. 

And I’m writing! Another thing I’ve always wanted to do but didn’t think was possible. I thought it was a ridiculous career to have, being a single mom with two daughters, even though many people were doing it and figured out how to make it work. 

I’m in an ideal situation now to see if this writing thing, whatever it is, can work for me. That’s why I cannot sit around wasting my time watching shows I won’t remember or numb-scrolling on the Internet for useless information.

I just need to focus all my attention on skills I want to develop. Like writing.