This COVID-19 pandemic just doesn’t seem like it’s ever going to end, or dissipate even. There are so many disagreements about so many aspects of the virus from how deadly it is to how to to prevent from getting sick with it. I’m so tired of it. So tired of reading about the idiocy and ignorance of what a lot of people have been saying. It’s hard to believe what’s right anymore. I even doubt the numbers. It’s really getting to me.

I was sick around the first week of March this year. Not bedridden-sick but I had body aches and felt feverish. I had the chills though I never got a temperature above 100 degrees Fahrenheit. I also had shortness of breath on and off during the day for a couple of weeks but no cough nor congestion. Didn’t lose any sense of taste and smell or had any gastrointestinal issues. I called my doctor and told her all my symptoms but I didn’t qualify to get tested for the coronavirus. Back then only a few tests were available and you had to be undoubtedly suffering to get one. The magic words were high fever, severe dry cough, and chest pains. All I got were prescriptions over the phone for Tamiflu for my flu symptoms (though I was not tested for the flu) and Albuterol for shortness of breath. I didn’t even go in to see the doctor. This was before a little over a week before shelter in place was enforced in the Bay Area but the hospitals and medical offices were already restricting unnecessary visits.

The flu symptoms receded after five days and my energy came back though I still had shortness of breath for a couple of weeks, happening more infrequently as the days went on. My husband felt poorly a few days after I got sick with only very little flu symptoms but none of my kids showed any signs of being ill.

I never did find out if I was sick with then with COVID-19. Two things were weird about it for me: 1) the chills without any fever and 2) the shortness of breath. Neither had ever happened to me before. Otherwise, it was just like I came down with a bit of the flu.

Even if I had it, there still isn’t any strong scientific evidence that proves I could be immune and not get it again so I haven’t felt the need to get tested for antibodies. I can only assume I am still as vulnerable as anybody who hasn’t gotten it. That’s what I’ve come to terms with to deal with this virus. And being extra careful and cautious with young children is quite exhausting.