There’s a red flag warning issued in our area, off the coast south of San Francisco, starting tonight until tomorrow afternoon for dry thunderstorms. We had dry thunderstorms last year, which ignited a few fires less than five miles from our house.

I’m worried again tonight, but not as much as I was earlier in the week when I first saw the warning in the weather news. There’s still a chance for thunderstorms, but the likelihood of them happening has decreased, supposedly.

I find myself feeling detached from my things and the house, not because I don’t value them, but because it is less nerve-racking to take this perspective. It’s my defense mechanism kicking in.

We had to evacuate last year. That turned out to be really stressful for me after it was all over. In the week we were out of our home, I could barely sleep. I was always online watching or reading the news for any updates on the fires, and I kept thinking about my home, my books, and other fond items I’d left behind.

I love my home a lot, and I know I’d be terribly devastated to lose it in a fire. But I just don’t want to be distressed consistently about fires, especially when it feels inevitable, given that we live in the forest in higher elevation and the worsening climate change.

Would I want to live somewhere else? I don’t think so, but it may be something we need to think about sooner than later.